Guest Writer: The Original Broomdock Saint
-A compilation of laughs and other stuff by Sam Abrahms
1) I’ll start y’all off with something to one-up your college buds with when that inevitable, once-a-month exchange of YouTube videos takes place. Check diz shit…
............
I would instantly wet my pants if this came out.
2) PJ Connolly
This brief interruption is a tribute to the fortitude of the creator of the Musings, PJ C.
Sooooo we all are good friends with this PJ Connolly kid, and it seems like A LOT of people enjoy giving him shit for who he is/what he says. I am here to tell you continue doing your thing. I know you probably thought I would tell you all to stop, but we all know that the laughs are never-ending when it comes to PJ jokes. The constant jabs at his attempts at making a funny seem to deflect right off him. So, you Webby Jons and Burb Lyfes of the universe, continue doing your jobs. Fight the good fight. Live virtuously by choosing your pointed words wisely. Most importantly, live it up.
3) Stuck on the 'vator
20 college kids. 1 hour and 15 minutes. Some 15 seconds into this shit, after traveling up 2 floors, we come to a halt and slowly start sinking back down until we thump past the bottom level…fuck is right.
Meanwhile inside the elevator, the joke making commences. Kid #13 mentions he just got back from seeing “Devil” in theaters that night. More joke telling. Girl #44 asks if it was a recommendable movie. #13 says that it was “alright.” Then my buddy Lou (not his real name) looks down and remembers he still has a Forman grill he stole from a tailgate earlier. #6 has to go ahead and summarize the night every 10 seconds—“dude I cant believe im stuck here its like crazy man, like what a waste of alcohol.”
…sooo 22 college kids, 78-79% of them under the influence of something (quiet kid in the back looked like he was going to eat someone… seemed kinda messed up). Anyways, it’s hot as shit and I sit down and pass out. Few minutes later I wake up and resume flipping the fuck out. Anyways, the door ends up opening and I get out of that shithole.
That night I sent a pretty hilarious email to the PRESIDENT of IOWA STATE….yeah I know. Here it is-
As I'm sure you are aware, an elevator stalled between floors and fell to the ground floor tonight in the Larch dormitory. I am currently a freshman here at Iowa State and was on this overcrowded elevator. As a result, I am very shaken by this incident. I was just hoping to speak to you about possibly installing some form of warning sign in front of the elevators, warning students of the dangers of overcrowding. I know that it won't do much, but hopefully it will have a greater impact that the little standard "occupancy limit" sign inside the elevator.
Thanks,
Sam Abrahms
The President’s response—
Sam,
I am sorry to learn about this very unfortunate situation and have been provided briefings on what occurred. My calendar is packed this week with travel and other meetings, but I will ask VP Tom Hill who has responsibility for the residence system to meet with you asap to discuss what can be done to prevent such situations again.
I hope you are doing OK now after what must have been a very frightening experience.
....Greg
Boom
Evidence
IV. Webby Jon's Baby Pic
Born with a full head of hair, Webby is destined to be an intramural champion.Last) T-Woods
I bet most of you haven’t seen the greatest golf picture ever taken, it is literally..…nevermind just look at it.
Not photo-shopped people…that guy on the right with the cigar and moustache is a real person.
Well, that’s all the time I have here. Keep an eye out for my next guest post on the Musings.
--Brooms
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